(this is a little long) I have never been a drug user, I drink once in a while and smoked pot years ago back when I was a teen in highschool a few times and that’s it. I’m 24 now, have a masters and a well paying full time job.

Yesterday I was walking throgh Washington Square Park where I pass every day and there are always people there looking to sell drugs (not in the park anymore due to cameras, but it is well known you can meet a dealer than and do the transaction elsewhere these days). They usually don’t solicit drugs to you unless you stop to stand around near one of them for some reason or look like you’re looking for something.

Yesterday I happened to stop by a row of benches to check some messages on my phone when a dealer on the bench to my right asks me if I need anything. My life has been pretty boring the last few years and I feel like I haven’t really lived, taken any risks, or done anything crazy so I figured what the hell maybe I’ll buy some pot, it’s been a while.

I said yeah and after asking my several times if I’m a cop he gives me his number and tells me to meet him at a fast food place several blocks away and he will ‘hook me up.’ I say alright and nervously check to make sure I have cash and go meet this shady looking dude. We sit down and after hounding me asking if I’m a cop he asks what I need, I tell him I just want a dime bag and he says something like “Naw sorry man, I only sell half ounces, you can take that and I’ve got some coke and H.”

At this point I didn’t want to buy half an ounce of pot, I probably never smoked more than an eighth in my life but then I started considering his last word, Heroin. I’ve heard so much about it and how crazy addictive it is and seen it in the movies and TV (I’m thinking The Wire here, one of my favorite shows) and it really started to intrigue me. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to do Heroin. Out of no where I say I’ll take the H and we do the deal there. I give him the cash under the table and he slides me a small order of fries with a little stamped wax baggie in it then he tells me to let him leave first.

I put it in my pocket then nervously race home my heart racing cannot believing what I just did. I held onto that bag in my pocket palms sweating the whole ride home. When I get home I open the bag and dump some golden flakes and powder on my glass coffee table. At this point I don’t even know what to do, I know you can snort heroin but it looked all flaky so I try to remember how they did it in the movies but they always seem to inject it in film so I start googling “how to snort Heroin’ like an idiot and do a little research on the stuff and how much to take.

I used a card to get it into a fine powder and move a small ‘bump’ to the side which I inhaled through a dollar bill. I didn’t feel anything yet so I snorted a small line which was essentially half the bag (there was very little inside).

I waited and in a few minutes I had the most pleasurable feeling of pure relaxation and bliss wash over me. I just sat there and everything felt amazing. I nodded off and it was great, I had the TV on but wasn’t paying attention, I must have sat around for 4 hours doing nothing but feel total pleasure. It was like a full body orgasm times 10 that kept going on and on.

When I would nod off it felt like I was in a pure conscious lucid dream like state, sometimes it felt like I was leaving my body. At this point I did the rest of it and stayed up all night and must have been high for 10 hours straight. i might have slept at one point, it’s hard to tell the difference when you nod off and everything feels good regardless, just the feeling of being under a blanket was amazing.

I was blown away by the power of this drug and just how orgasmic it felt. I never understood why people did drugs before and got so hooked on them but now I see why. I have the urge to do it again but I will resist and not do it, at least not for a long time. I understand the addiction potential and how someone could easily tear apart their lives with this stuff.

Heroin is pure powdered pleasure, I actually feel proud of myself for having the balls to do something this crazy and I feel like it was a valuable life experience and my window into another world and part of society. I will never forget the day I did heroin. Now, ask me anything.

New Edit: I have a lot of respect for most posters and drug addicts with experience here but this Redditor/addict is why people have the negative stereotypes they do about junkies: http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/9ke63/i_did_heroin_yesterday_i_am_not_a_drug_user_and/c0d6prn

Edit: Please no more comments telling me I’m going to be a homeless addict dying of an overdose now, don’t lecture me with all of your misconceptions and lack of any real knowledge or experience about the drug. I understand if you know someone who has been hurt by it, we all do. Any drug can ruin lives, please ask me questions instead of trying to lecture me and do some research first before spewing lies.

Update 2: I don’t regret this at all and I see a lot of talk about how cocaine isn’t as bad as heroin and people telling anyone considering trying a hard drug to do coke instead. I’ve known and seen a lot of heavy coke users, many who have become addicted and ODed and I find it disturbing that people think coke is acceptable because some ‘higher class’ circles find it socially acceptable. I’m thinking the young Wall Street and college crowds here who associate it with money and being cool and is easily manageable to use for recreation, while society tells them that Heroin is for the poor and destitute and leads to automatic addiction and suffering.

So I plan to try cocaine the next chance I get and compare the two in terms of effects and experience. Doing Heroin was memorable and life changing and I know I can handle anything once. I’ve done my research on coke and know the risks, so if anyone has any questions or opinions on that matter feel free to chime in. Whether it is to tell me I’m a fucking idiot or to give me advice, whatever. This is an experiment and an adventure in life, I’ll report back once I try it.

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2 weeks ago I tried heroin ‘once for fun’ and made an AMA, I have been using since and shot up for the first time today, AMA Sep 27 2009

Weds night update: fucking I;m still withdrawling throwing up and sweating out gallons of sweat. i really want to use and relapse right now, I know i shouldn’t. these urges are so strong and overpowering. Please help me if you can before I get the chance to.

1000 comment update: Fuck my life. I wish I was trolling and this was all some elaborate lie. I was doing everything right, have been clean, and somehow a rumor got out that Ive been using and my girlfriend found out and she basically broke up with me last night but is now putting that decision on hold. I have some serious unrelated business/work I need to attend to in two hours and I don’t know if I’ll be in any state to be able to and be ready. I can’t stop crying. Fuck heroin. Fuck my life. I guess I don’t need to say that since heroin pretty much fucked my life for me in under two weeks, I just want to die.

NA UPDATE Went to NA, I shared my story and it seemed to hit a lot of people, I cried, I got a lot of support and numbers and feel like I’m in a good place and truly believe I never have to use again. I will be going back.

Update \#whatever: I slept for about 30 hours, sweat out my entire body and now I feel ok. I also took a shit for the first time in like a week which was pretty awesome. I can stop this on my own, I don’t even think I need NA but I’m not ruling it out, I have no craving or desire to do heroin. I’m sure some of you will be quick to say I need real support and maybe you’re right, but right now I think I’ll be ok.

New update: i appreciate all the genuine concern adn advice. I finished my stash (bad idea but too late), threw out my needles, and am too faded to respond to comments for now. When I sober up in a couple hours I’ll check out some NA meetings.

EDIT: I nodded off after taking another hit at 4AM and couldn’t be bothered to look at this anymore and just woke up sore with a headache. For those of you who think I’m a troll because I can do heroin and type well with good grammar, fuck off. It’s not that hard if you type slowly and carefully without looking at the screen (the screen is a blur and too bright) and it’s challenging but I would rather post coherently than like an idiot, I know it’s hard to believe someone dumb enough to do heroin is ‘intelligent’ in other regards.

Comments disintegrated into mindless bandwagon accusations of being a troll, I wanted to engage in a discussion and know I need help and my mind isn’t exactly right. I’ll sift through the posts and respond to the genuine ones once I feel better.

For people calling fake is this enough proof for you? Do you want to see my track marks too? They’re not pretty and this is under 24 hours after first shooting up. I’m not proud of any of this and posted it here because I can’t tell anyone in my life and don’t want to keep it to myself. I figured doing another IAMA would give me the opportunity to talk about my issues anonymously and help realize the extent of my problem through feedback, the assholes saying this is all fake trolling can fuck themselves. People can post about being prostitutes and all sorts of things that harm a large number of other people but dismiss someone on the track to becoming an addict who needs help and just wants to talk and maybe help some other people form making the same mistakes. I appreciate the people giving legitimate advice and asking questions. I’m going to the next NA meeting I can find….

I know there will be a lot of people telling me ‘I told you so’ and urging me to seek help, and they are right. That’s all good and trust me I know the danger I am in of ruining my life but let’s please keep this an AMA first and foremost.

I will be checking out an NA meeting this week and I know I am on a fast track to becoming an addict and I want to stop it before it gets out of control and I’m physically addicted. No one in my life can know about this and I want to stop before it is too late

I have been using for 2-3 day periods then taking a couple days off then using again. The breaks were in part to try not to get hooked and in part because I had an unreliable dealer who charged me more than double what I should be paying. I got ripped off several times when I tried to buy off the street (my former dealer is the guy who I first bought from).

Today I met a guy through some internet channels who said he could get bundles (10 small bags of heroin) for significantly less than half the price my old dealer gave me on his ‘most fair’ deal. He also happened to be an IV user and had a stash of sealed needles and supplies and offered to shoot me up.

I had kind of hoped I would find someone who would and he was a pro finding my small hidden veins and injecting a bag in one shot. To quote trainspotting “Take the best orgasm you’ve ever had, multiply by 1000, and you’re still nowhere near it.”

He gave me some new needles and tourniquets and when I got home I tried to do it myself. After not hitting a vein countless times I finally got a red flag and was good to go. I have injected 5 bags since 4pm, the last one a little less than an hour ago and am tempted to do one more. AMA. Forgive me for any delays if I nod off…

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I tried heroin a month ago, made an AMA, got addicted & started injecting, & just started Suboxone treatment, AMA Oct 10 2009

EDIT:

this one failed due to assholes calling me a lying troll, I’ll try again and post proof up front.

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IAmA patient in a psychiatric hospital. I was also technically dead last week, AMA. Oct 25 2010

I am in one of the nation’s finest hospitals and get internet access in 30 minute intervals before having to restart my browsing session which is kind of annoying, along with the pesky web filter (I will be very grateful if anyone can help me get around it, all proxies I have tried are blocked).

If you are reading this and know me you probably already know who I am, AMA.

Edit: I can’t believe it has been over a year since I discovered heroin and did the AMAs on here after first trying it and several months later. Time flies when you’re an addict.

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IAmA heroin/opioid/multi-substance addict w/ bi-polar disorder headed to rehab tomorrow because I didn’t listen to reddit. I ODed one week ago and am in a psych hospital, AMA. Oct 27 2010

New AMA. Tomorrow I leave this psychiatric unit to go to a substance abuse unit for a couple weeks before heading to a long term residential rehab program. I was technically dead from a fentanyl overdose last week and was revived with multiple shots of Narcan- if I was found ten minutes later I would have been dead for good according to EMS.

Reddit warned me I would become an addict when I did an AMA a little over a year ago after first trying heroin- needless to say I didn’t listen and am paying the consequences. Whether or not it would have made a difference is questionable considering my personality (a staggering number of bi-polar people become addicts). This is my third extremely close encounter with death from drugs in the last year- I have done more than you probably know exist.

This is my third chance at life and I don’t know if I will get any more, AMA.

EDIT: I get trasferred to the rehab unit in like an hour which is open door and has a lot of freedom and is even nicer than this unit, yay!

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SpontaneousH 7 years later. Update for anyone who stumbles upon this account in the future

Posted on r/OpiatesRecovery Jan 09 2017

I don’t know if anyone here remembers me but you can look through my submissions history and get an idea. It’s not pretty and will take you through a journey of my first time trying heroin to my life quickly falling apart. So take that as a warning it’s graphic, I was totally out of my mind, and you may not want to read it depending on where you’re at…

This is the first time I have logged into this account in a couple years and I had a bunch of PMs, and people occasionally mention this account in various places on reddit so I’ll post a quick update here for anyone who stumbles upon this in the future.

I’m now almost six years clean from all drugs and alcohol and life is good.

It’s too difficult for me to go back and even read most of what I originally wrote 7 years ago. Maybe one day I will be able to.

I don’t even remember what I said in the first post but I know I can look back objectively and say that things probably weren’t as good and ‘normal’ before I tried heroin that time as I made it seem in that first post. There were certainly warning signs before that with alcohol, weed, and other things that I had issues with substances although I probably couldn’t admit it to myself at the time. I would have never tried it if things were truly going well for me. What followed in the later posts with where it took me was very real.

Thanks for everyone who has reached out over the years.

I hope everyone here is able to find recovery and get the help they need.

— It’s been a while… Posted by u/SpontaneousH Sep 25 2021

This is not an AMA or anything exciting really

I saw a disturbing and sad post about an opiate OD on r/PublicFreakout and was reminded to try to log in and check this. I guess it has been over three years since I have checked this or posted anything. I find this reddit account pretty overwhelming.

I’m just posting to let people know that I am still alive, clean, and doing well. Thanks to everyone who has reached out in messages checking in over the past few years, and sorry if I can’t get back to you.